Acne Jeans is gearing up to launch a new pair of denim for spring 2010 named the Armored Jeans. This spiffy pair features big silver plates that shield the knee, and sometimes, the shin and thigh, sort of like the wildly popular kneepad leggings by Lindsay Lohan that sold out yesteryear. How lovely! Now you can have shiny safety gear to save you if you stumble in six-inch stilettos after four glasses of sangria — or, you know, if you find yourself in other compromising positions where your knees require solid protection. — Ramlah Boadi

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